Sober Living for Those In the Double Closet of Wealth and Addiction

In most cases, those addicted to alcohol and drugs feel the shame and stigma that accompanies a substance abuse disorder. And frequently this keep them feeling alone. The disease of addiction is frequently very isolating for people. Furthermore, this is compounded when an individual is wealthy or has an elite identity. This is sometimes referred to as the double closet.

Although it's rarely acknowledged, talking about money can also be a taboo. In the American culture and within families, money is frequently a subject that is discussed privately, behind closed doors. And even when it is discussed, regardless of how much money people have, discussions around money can come with feelings of shame, guilt, anger, and powerlessness. In fact, research indicates that most are more comfortable talking about sexuality than they are discussing their finances. 

It might be difficult at first for those who are wealthy and who possess an identity of wealth. For instance, they might at first see those around them, if they make the choice to attend a sober living facility as serving them. Those with money might even look at a therapist in that way, believing that he or she is serving them, rather than having an equal client-therapist relationship. 

In fact, having a relationship in which a wealthy client can trust sober living staff or a therapist will facilitate him or her in surrendering to the process of recovery. One of the most essential components to therapeutic change and the sober living treatment of substance abuse is the relationship. The therapeutic relationship has been proven to be the most vital ingredient to seeing a client improve. In fact, there is growing research that points to the therapeutic relationship as the most significant factor in the improved well being of clients and this has proven to be true regardless of the diagnosis. Additionally, many clinicians might also agree that although there are specific treatment interventions they work with, without the therapeutic alliance, those treatments may not be as effective. 

Also, because wealthy clients tend to often feel objectified, used, and idolized for their wealth, in sober living facilities they must be able to feel as though they are heard and understood. "They must intuitively feel they are valued for the emotionally vulnerable human beings they are and not manipulated as the result of their elite status. In short, they must become vulnerable with their full identities and trust the people and communities in whom they've entrusted their care," said Dr.Paul Hokemeyer, Senior Clinical Director at Caron Renaissance.

Essentially, empathy between a wealthy client and the sober living staff around them will help to facilitate trust, openness, honesty, and a sense of surrender and relaxation. Developing empathy is a social skill that comes with their developing brains. Empathy is a skill that most therapists, counselors, and parents have. It’s the ability to place yourself within the inner landscape of another person. It’s an experience of connection with another that takes into account his or her entire inner world – thoughts, ideas, attitudes. 

Once a client feels the empathetic space around him or her, this milieu can also facilitate insight, the ability to explore memories of the past, along with memories of the present, and imagine how it might be in the future. That client feels safe to surrender and to begin the process of healing and personal exploration. 

It's important that the empathetic milieu of a sober living facility is present for those who feel guarded or defended against the perceptions of others. If a client of elite status were looking for a sober living facility, this factor would be important to keep in mind in order to feel safe and secure in the recovery process.